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The Writers Block - with Ron Knight
The Writers Block - with Ron Knight

Episode · 9 months ago

Relax with Robert Lawrence Friedman

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

How to Relax in 60 Seconds or Less? Join us as Ron chats with Robert Lawrence Friedman, MA, president of Stress Solutions, Inc. author, professional speaker/trainer, and psychotherapist, who has appeared on national and international television shows, including The Discovery Health Channel program, The Morning Show on Today (NBC), Fox News, and E! Television. Pandemic stress, or any time stress, Robert's books provide a wide range of relaxation techniques, strategies, and tools to help you develop a greater level of relaxation, health, well-being, and even awareness.  

Hi, everyone wit's your best foll Ronnight with me today Mir Robert Lawrence Freedman, who is the author of how torelax in sixty seconds for less many of the books by Robert Lawrence Freedmaninclude how to relax in sixty seconds or less the healing power of the drum gRobert. It's been sometimes since we were actually together in New York atone of those drum circles, when we were broadcasting on the air. How are youyeah, I'm doing? Okay, I mean it's been a challenge I think, but youknow my goal is to is to explore how to use this time in as positive a way aspossible, and I know that there's a lot of families that are suffering fivehundred thousand of them, and so I certainly feel great Dus you empathyfor those folks. Tho have lost individuals to do to this crisis, butfor the most part, my wife and I are doing fine or covid free and I've beenspending a lot of my time working with hospital employees trying to helpsupport the frontline's death in dealing with the stressers and thechallenges of this crazy. Crazy time yeah. Well, that's great. Let me giveour listeners a little background on you for the past thirty years, RobertLawrence Freedman, who has been a corporate trainer, a psychotherapistcourse and author, a professional speaker and a musician as we'vementioned, has provided his dynamic and interactive rhythm based programs toaudiences throughout t United States, Europe and Asia. In two thousand andfourteen miter Freedman was awarded the First Scholar Award for your innovativework in the area of rhythm based...

...exercises and their effects on healthand wellness. So I'm certainly glad that you're here today and as we werechatting because this pandemic has certainly taken its toll on so manylevels. You know when you were known for a stress reductionist when we hadour careers weoe led too much on their plate. People were working like crazy.It was easy to see how people could get completely stressed out by having toomuch going on stress reduction was necessary. This pandemic, I think, hascreated a different set of circumstances where now it's likenothing is going on. We're told that we have to stay in the cave, sit on ourhands. I mean it's getting better now, thank God because the vaccines arecoming and people, I think, are getting a little bit more back to the mode ofwanting to get reactivated and get back in play. But I think it's been a verystressful year, just because lost emotional loss, fear of death, fear ofillness. All this stuff has been going on, so maybe you might want to touch alittle bit just to get us going, how the stress has been different ascompared to when we had maybe too much going on, and that was a differentlevel or a different kind of stress. So I mean you'e making a good point Ron. Iwill share with you that in the environment that I am working in now,those levels of stress still exist. I've just work with forty managers whoare in the health care, Inde Stra and their issue is, is biggest issue ofmultitasking during this. So there is a sector of the population that clearlyis overwhelmed and burnt out and stressed, and it's our health careworkers. So those are the folks that mostly I'm working with in terms ofindividuals who, like my wife, for example, who has not worked for a year,you know it's interesting, there's always two ways to view things there'salways at least to wits, two or more ways. So do you look at covid andstaying home as an opportunity to take care of yourself to give yourself a moment, a respite and oasis in whichyou can enjoy simply being rather than...

...doing, or do you view it as a stresster?Because because you don't know what to do and again, I think it's going to beindividualistic. I don't think there's a blanket way of viewing this. I dothink that there are certain dividuals who are using this time at homepositively. They are finding themselves, do doing things that they would havedone during retirement. They are enjoying the creativity, theopportunity to just be rather than have to do. There are individuals who arevery stressed because they have fear of. Are they going back to work that Iwould consider a worry and a worry represents a moment not in the presentand the moment, you're not in the present there's an opportunity forstress if you project negatively the future, so you don't know all ind all.I think that I think learning how to stay present would be a reallyimportant tool and vehicle to practice now, because people can get caught upin their fears. Their worries- and I think this is potentially this was andstill is, a real opportunity for learning to grow, be creative, learn tolove yourself, learn to take care of yourself and use this as an opportunityfor gaining greater selfawareness. That is one piece of this. Well, that'sprobably very good advice. Let's touch on your book, how to relax in sixtyseconds or less and boy the headeron. That alone sounds like a great idea.The book provides a wide range of relaxation techniques and strategiesand also give some tools to help one develop a greater level of relaxationhealth and well being what was the motivation for writing the book. So thebook came out of the work that I had been doing in corporate America andwhat was happening was that in the...

...audiences that I was working with interms of man helping them manage heir stress, they wanted to know that thefastest ways that they can learn to relax, which which sounds like an oxymoron. I want to relax best. Let me now relix now and yet that's what I wasgetting from the audiences they were saying. Well, this is great, but showme how to do it quickly. You know I come from New York and New York is wellwas very fast paced. It is still is in some ways, and so the folks in the corporationswere feeling like they didn't have time to relax. I want to relax and I want tolearn to do it quickly. So the book was a reflection of what was being asked inme, and that was the motivation for it. I guess we all live in that microwaveworld. You know I want to hurry up and eat something through it in themicrowave it's done in thirty seconds. I mean that is that's that level ofachievement and efficiency that this, especially this nation, was alwaysgeared towards tru. So now, with the opposite and people for going on a year,now being told, don't go anywhere, don't do anything. You know just kindof reevaluate. Obviously, there's been an increase in things like baking.Maybe Thosewho have the tools, you know. Maybe they go out in the shop and theydo some carpentry. You know woodworking, but on the opposite level of that whathave been and what are the biggest stressers. I think you may have touchedon some of this during covid and what's going on on a molecular level or on acalled a psychiatric level, what are these biggest stressers going on duringcovid? I mean you touched upon them. I'm some of the biggest ones are fearof death. Fear of family catching this illness fear dealing with changing ofthe habits and the stressers of that not being able to see love ones. Youknow the biggest one of the biggest stressers is habituation. Are Thehabits that we keep and one of the ways to reverse that is to is to challengeyourself is to learn to do things...

...differently. You know the question Iwould ask individuals is: What are they doing to take care of themselves? Whatare people doing to help to mitigate their stress? Howaware are they of their emotional state? There ware some research that show thatmany people re aren't even aware of what they're feeling emotionally and so,if you're not aware of what you're feeling emotionally, how can you thenchange that? So there are many stresches it again out of thin could begeneralized well, T can be kind of sort of generized, because we are doing somevery different things as a society with social distancing with wearing a mask,and yet people have started. At least the people in my seerhave have recognized how vital that is to do, and yet it's a new habit, it'sdifferent, and yet it's becoming more it's normalizing and then in terms ofcovid. It's just fear of the as a contagion, fear of the variance thatare coming up now. Some people are afraid of the vaccine. It really justdepends on what a person's world view is. I think that determines their levelof stresser at this time. I guess you have to be very aware of what theproblem is before you can start to address tha solution, so your book howto relax in sixty seconds or less it does go into the concept of instantrelaxation and, of course, dissecting the negative ramifications of stress,but you do also offer concepts which can help people relax much much morequickly. So that's said: Do you have any specific, quick techniques forrelaxation? I do? I do you know we're both drummers and drum facilitators,and I actually took one of the concepts of of drumming and applied it to stressmanagement and the concept that I work with is the contept of entrainment, andI'm sure you, I know, you're familiar with the content of en trament atraimen tency to follow a dominant...

...rhetthe rhythm, the tendency to followand dominant rhythm. So when you are in stress mode, your Adrenalin is hi, yourheart is beating quickly and what you want to practice doing isdoing the opposite. What does that mean? You practice doing things slowly. So asan example, if a person notices their stress change their rhythm change, therhythm, what does that mean? Walk Slower, talk, slower right slower? What we have found is,when you start to do that, when you start to shift your bodily rhythms,your vocal rhythms, your gait, you will not only slow those down, but you willalso start to relax and as you're doing that, make sure you're taking deepbreaths in. So that's one of the concepts I work with it's the power ofslow, but a person has to become aware when they're in the dress and then bewilling to change the rhythm in order to be able to downshift. Are yousuggesting and again you and I are rhythmically oriented, so I get thatand for those who might want a little deeper clarification on whatentrainment means it's kind of like. If you have a group of people or acommunity, or perhaps even people in Church, the Ideais that some thingeither rhythm wise hit could be even be molodicwise. It could even be just youknow. Somebody's spoken word or t could be just as simple as a truck if youwill rumbling down the street, but people kind of notice, the sound andintrainment says collectively people hear that and they all focus on ittogether, it's kind of like a boat in the water. If you look at where a boatis going, it leaves a wake behind it, but the rippling pattern is that itwill actually bring in the other water elements around the way, cand kind ofsuck it back up as it moves along and...

...that's what entrainment is doing forpeople and communities. So when we talk about in training ourselves to a slowerpace, just to be able to slow down, is there an actual exercise? I mean? Is ita count thing a neumeric thing? Maybe people count to themselves and use likea e numbers based system to slow themselves down, or do you find thatthere's some other psychological aspect of a way to do it without having to getso. You know count and beat oriempted. It's obvious. You are a drummer yeahright, yeah! It's there a beat. I can do. Is there? What can I do? Can I putthe Metroomma? You could do the Meso it's a process. Everyone has their ownrhythm, and so, when I say slow down your pace, you slow it down. So if you're goingfast, you slow down your walking, there's no rhythm based protocol for itit's more of a process base than it is a procedural based, so I say, slowedown. Your walking slowdown writing. So you mentioned a really good example ofAntraiment, one that I often use is when you're listening to music andyou're tapping your foot to the beat that is in trainment you're followingthat beat that intraiment exist ant organizations that a traiment exists inour pacing in our day. And so again you want to have an awareness backtoselfawarenness you wan'to have an awareness of first I'll. Ask Yourself!The question: Am I stressed: How do I know I'm stressed wheter the ways thattheres mental ways of knowing it there's physical ways of knowing atthere's XS called mix reactors where you'r doing both a physical? So maybeyour stomach gets tighe. Maybe your shoulders go up. Maybe you notice thatyou get a headache when you get stressed what are H, what I call yourstress signature? What is yours so once you become aware of that, then you say:okay. What do I want to do about it? I in my book there are a number ofmethods. One of them is intrainment.

One of them is using your memory usingyour memory to think about what was the last thing you were doing when you wererelaxed, there's using objects as a way to relax, so, for example, for somepeople, lavender relaxes them so keep lavendering your pocket for otherpeople. It's a memory that relaxes them or a positive thought. Tat. Relaxe Houwanted determine what are the resources that work for you that you know willrelax. You then have those available to you as your resource. Okay. So this isnow leading me to another thought you know is what is it doing? There's thelalt Disney classic of Dunbo, where he carried the black magic feather in histrunk. Just so he could fly and then, when he was plunging to his crisis atthe end of the film and he lost the black magic feather, it was timothy,the the mouse who represented consciousness, who looked at him asthey were, plunging the looked at him right in the eyeand said you don't needthe black magic feather Dumbo. You just open your ears and fly just open yourears and fly, and it's an interesting metaphor that said now, when we'retalking about all of these, whether it's a lavender, whether it's an Amulat,maybe people use a Montra, but people can destress and if they are going tode stressed, let's say we get so wonderfully distressed because we'renot attached to the material or the physical or the external things thatare literally stressing everybody out and if everybody got so calm and sorelaxed, do we feel like then then there's the doorway where if the minestarts proping for what's next, do you see this is the possibility that adoorway opens up into what we'll call spirit or spiritual, enlightenment orsome kind of an awareness, and because of that, maybe even approaching thatlevel can also help make people realize they don't need to be stressed, becausetheir consciousness is moving into a different place. I don't want to Sam toAsoteric, but it's just leading me to...

...say when people use breathingtechniques and they do get slowed down, it's almost like a function of yoga atthat point and then they can actually go to higher places of awareness. So Idon't know if you want to touch on other thingsthat people can do maybe breathing techniques or other things as well, andthen what is the advent of where? Hopefully we can all get to? So that'sa really really good point. UN and U W everybody, has their belief system andtheir perception about what is possible. I am a great believer in in the conceptof spirituality and meditation and alternate perspectives, and I believethat you can use meditation as a vehicle for deepening your sense ofyour own spirituality. There are many ways to use meditation, a Ou s me abunch of questions, but I think breathing techniques are very powerful.I'll give you listeners one of the keys to that, and that is that it was bymedical doctor Herbert Benson, who found, I would call the antidote forstress and what he found was that when your exhalation is twice as long asyour inhalation, your body will move into a state of relaxation and that formula is used throughoutdifferent breathing techniques. So, basically, the goal is to breathingvery, very deeply, get lots of oxygen in and then breathe out at least twiceas much slowly. You want to get all te co two out of your lungs and then youdo it again and what that does within a minute to a minute and a half, it slowsdown your heart weight. It normalizes. Your blood pressure, begins thatprocess. It increases your circulation. It changes your brain waves fromdebatawave norm, awakened consciousness to the Alpha wave, a slow brain wayrhythm, associate with the feeling of inner peace tranquillity, and that'sall by changing the rhythm of your breath. There are many different typesof techniques os something called diphomatic breathing, which is thatsame concept, except it's very...

...formulaic. It's one. Four. Twobreathein on one holder for the count o four breathe out for the count of twoor three twelve: six breathe in deeper holding it longer, blowing out slower,and so there are many many tools that people can use: breathing tools, censory tools, it'sjust a matter of determining what works for you to relax you, but it does takesome effort because I guess you have to decide. Is it worth it for you andthere's lots of reasons for it, because we know that stress: has men linked tostrokes and heart attacks and type TUB diabetes and Yur, ner track infectionsand cancer and aging, and there's lots of motivation and incentive? Thequestion is: Are you willing to put the time into yourself to learn it and doit? It sounds like a certainly good value. I know if nothing else. Ifsomebody told me what you just have that by learning to get the stress andcontrol breathing into your system and into your body and get the stress out,it could actually help people control things like their blood pressure, theirhigh cholesterol levels, you know, and if they can get off things like, Iwould love to get off of the am load of Pine that I'm on for the stautons. Youknow, so maybe it's as simple as just remembering to do things like how torelax yourself and just watch your health levels just by doing thesetechniques how to relax in sixty seconds or less written by RobertLawrence Freedman Robert. This has been great now if people want to find you orfind your book or for that matter. Maybe they're interested in theramification of you know the healing power of the drum and maybe they'reinterested in that as well, but how to relax in sixty seconds or less. Wherewould they find that they can go to my website, which is w wwdot tress DashSolutionscom, and they can find all of my books and other resources for thator they can go on Amazon as well? Well,...

...there you go and you will find if youare a listener and want to get into this. It's great book, featuringtechniques which you can use to relax quickly in sixty seconds or less Robert.Thank you for joining us today, and hopefully these words that people havebeen listening to will be of value to them and hopefully we'll all getthrough this covid thing, and you know by the end of the year, but wouldn't itbe great if we were all in a much better mental health state when we allcome out indeed, rn. Really, thanks for given me opportunity to talk with youraudience, it's good to see you after seventeen years yeah hard to believe. Where does thetime go? Where does e time go to your audience? o stay well stay healthy andRon. Thank you so much for the opportunity and I look forward to USSyou again. So you bet- and we will not let so much grass gorow under our feetand by the time we get together again sounds perfect, thanks for being yerebber thank Yo thanks, O my tr.

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